When Writing Memoirs, Do the Right Thing!

Who owns your story? How does what you write about others affect them?

Memoirs have been around for nearly as long as writing systems have. But an upcoming memoir by Alison Holker has garnered attention before its release due to some controversial concerns (particularly, concerns about how her words affect her late husband’s personal health information, legacy, and image). There are numerous ethical considerations that are pertinent to writing memoirs, but the concerns around Ms. Holker’s book remind me of four prominent ethical considerations.

First, writers of memoirs have an obligation to themselves to tell/own their experience. As a writer, your experience belongs to you and is yours to tell. On the other side of that, memoir writers should consider (or at least keep in mind) how writing about experiences that include others may affect those other people. (For example, will the contents of the memoir result in negative consequences for someone else? Or harm their image?)

Two other prominent ethical issues relevant to memoirs that come to mind are honesty and dishonesty. Writers may be dishonest or deceptive about their experiences for various reasons, such as for impression management or personal gain. Dishonesty for whatever reason is obviously unethical, especially because it can discredit the truth (Couser, 2011). However, comma, pause………. in some cases, the decision to be honest in one’s writing can have undesirable outcomes for other people (e.g., making someone look bad, result in negative consequences for someone, etc.).

So…! There are a few things that memoir writers have to consider and decide on. My opinion isn’t a Gospel or any law that you should follow. But I hope that anyone writing a memoir follows a decision-making flowchart and makes decisions that make the most ethical sense for their story and loved ones.

Couser, G. T. (2011). Memoir: An introduction. Oxford University Press.